The Table

I have often heard the phrase God works in mysterious ways.
Mysterious isn't the word I would use...
However, I am not sure I can completely describe what it feels like when you see and feel him work on and through you.

On Sunday I watched Week 1 of The Table series from Second Chance Church.
Yes, I am totally a slacker; as I realize I am a few weeks behind in this sermon series.
However, can I just I LOVE MY CHURCH right now....

Okay, so back to the purpose of this blog.

The scripture from the message is a familiar portion from the 23rd Psalm.

"You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.  

You honor me by anointing my head with oil.  My cup overflows with blessings" (NLT)

Confession:
I have grown up in the church my entire life...and have never understood this scripture... until now.


I am not a confrontational person.  In fact, I despise confrontation.  To admit there are individuals who do not like me, for some reason that they feel is enough not to like me, is a hard pill to swallow.

The dictionary defines an enemy as a person who is actively opposed or hostile to someone or something.

To describe those individuals as enemies is even harder.
I mean, to think there are people who actively oppose or are hostile toward someone is intense!

What is absolutely heartbreaking is when the enemy comes in a form of an individual who you trusted, considered a friend... a sister.

The incident began with a conversation.
In the end, there was a revelation on both parties that communications had not been as honest as one would have hoped.

There was a little confrontation, but nothing too bad.

I walked away feeling as though there was room for me to become 'smarter' in my future actions, but an overall feeling that everything would be okay.

I returned to my computer to find a text message from a parent.
The message was very encouraging and validated I had made the right decision with another situation.

Then another message alert popped up on the right side of my screen.
I opened the message with one expectation... only to be sucker punched by screenshot which unintentionally included a picture of a text which came through at the exact time of the screenshot.

It simply read, "I may be wrong, but that was some of Kerri's shit."

At first, I couldn't breath.  The tears began to uncontrollably fall; as my heart raced so hard my chest hurt.

Then the voices in my head began....

Why would she say this?

What had I done to her?

You have been told she was talking about you~ well... here is your proof

Shit.. let me tell you what is some shit

This is my friend... my sister...why

It is Ms. Camp to you.

How many others are you talking about you to?

And as all the voices in my head began to speak their opinions, I heard one say,

"Which way is your chair facing?"

You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies

In that moment, something came over me which I can only describe as God working

....... and I surrendered. 

I went to the individual who had sent the screenshot and asked that the mistake remain between us. 

Yes, there are parts of me which want to address the comment.

Yes, that is written in present tense as forgiveness is going to be an on-going process for awhile.

However, what good is it going to do if there is the possibility of causing friction between the one who had accidentally shared it.

And I slowly turned my chair and faced the table

Please know for this experience, my table included my husband, my son & two mentors who also my friends. 

One mentor quickly reminded me that I am not defined by the opinions of others. 

My other mentor talked with me until I was safely home.  Her words of encouragement and advice were a source of comfort and guidance. 

My husband showed unconditional support and my son did the same. 

I tried to sleep.... but it was not restful

I woke up tired... and mad

As I drove to work, I listed to the song, "It is Well".... and firmly informed God that it was not. 

Next song, please...

Defender from NewSpring played next..... and again I felt at peace. 

Once I arrived at work, both of my mentors checked on me. 

One brought me a Pepsi with an encouraging note and the other sent me screenshots of quotes which remind us of how the opinions of others do not define us. 

And in those moments, God began to provide me with the strength to move forward as if nothing had happened. 

Normally I would have hid in my office

Instead, I moved about the building with my head held high.

Normally, this would have caused me to second guess my decisions. 

Today, I made every decision based on what was best for the purpose God has entrusted me with. 

(Digest that last part of a minute..purpose God has entrusted me with)

Normally I would have avoided my enemy. 

Today, I spoke to my enemy with confidence.

I may have made a joke or two... about my communications not just being some of 'Kerri's Shit'

Oh! I enjoyed pizza with my mentors and friends. 

And I laughed... Yes, I laughed 

The message translates this scripture to say, 

You serve me a six-course dinner right in front of my enemies, you revive my dropping head; my cup brims with blessings. 

I hope in the future, I continue to face my chair toward the table God has prepared...

and know that what he has prepared will be exactly what I need in the presence of whatever comes my way. 

So, why do I share this blog now? Let me assure you it is not to cause friction at all.

If someone reads this and researches Psalm 23, you will see this passage of scripture begins by saying, 

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need.....

Though I walk through the Valley of Shadow of Death, I will fear no evil"

When the storms of life come.. because they will. 

Ask yourself, 

Is your chair facing the enemy?

or

Is your chair facing the table?

If you face the light of The Table

... the shadow of death has no choice, but to get behind you. 

and you can trust that The Table will be exactly what you need.