Nothing will Change if Nothing Changes

 

I don’t even know where to begin as I share this chapter. I already had to go back and delete the word last before chapter because whether this is only the beginning or the end is yet for me to know.

You came back into my life the day before your birthday.
I thanked God for allowing everything to line up so that I could see you again.   I tried to approach everything differently, but there are some parts of loving a person and longing for their healing that just cannot be shut off.

I tried to take it slow, remind you that you are loved, made for more, and not as lost as you communicated.

And although I knew that I never had a plan, the last time I spoke with you, I realized that the only resource that could truly help you was our Heavenly Father.

Four weeks passed.

And then another line up…

But this line up was not what I expected at all. Instead of running toward me, you ran the other way in an attempt to avoid me.
And as painful as it was, I know God allowed that red truck to pull in front of me so that I could have some sense of closure to this chapter.

Nothing will change in your life if you don’t do something different from what you’ve been doing.

I have got to stop chasing after people who don’t care enough to turn around and see that I have been there the whole time.

Although I will always love you, despite the hurt, today I am beginning the process of accepting that you cannot have the place in my life that I had hoped you could have.

You can loose my phone number...on purpose, but know that I will continue to pray for you... on purpose.  

Hope is the knowledge that things are not as you would want them to be, but the belief that they don't have to stay the way.

Even as I write this, I hear the lyrics of our song .. Hope is never lost. 

Dedicated to Hope